Maybe the old saying "home is where the heart is" is true? I know that I usually dread going certain places, but when I commit to it and put my heart in it, it always ends up being such a blessing. So I guess where we feel at home, isn't so much a place, but a place of heart. See my parents moved away from the town I grew up in after I had already been away at college for a while, so going back to visit can be difficult and honestly just saddening. However! This time I did my best to allow Jesus to put my heart in the right place, and it's been great! Exactly what my exhausted spirit needed...
After all the "Russia" struggles going on in my heart, I needed nothing more than to be away for a while. Definitely not running away, I faced all the facts, put things in perspective, prayed, and laid things as they were at His feet. And then, I took a much needed vacation :)
My sisters and I traveled up here to Connecticut to visit my parents and little bro for a week. I've only been here for a few days and it's been, well....great! (sorry I'm lacking in creative adjectives) It's been non-stop home-cooked meals (yay!), sun-bathing, hiking, shopping, movie nights, music playing, art making, craft time, and every other family thing we could think of to do together. It's lifted such a weight off my heart to be with my family just hanging out. I should have known the first night I got here, when I laid out on the back patio, star-gazing, and I heard the coyotes howling in the woods, that God was going to do amazing things this week. Yeah so...my dad took the whole day off today and my parents planned an unbelievable day for us...
I woke to the smell of pancakes, my dad made breakfast and we ate on our back patio. Then we hung out, and went to the market and got bread and meat and fresh fruit and packed an amazing picnic lunch and headed to another small town in Connecticut (apparently that's all they have here) to go to this AMAZING waterfall! It has beautiful trees and woods and grassy areas and hiking trails and the most beautiful waterfall that goes up the side of the hill. So we get there and settle in front of the waterfall, we ate lunch, then we just kinda...chilled. My dad and bro went hiking, my mom and Lynz started drawing, and I'm still not sure where Laura went :) But armed with my sketchpad and charcoals, I climbed a ways up the waterfall and started sketching. I was in awe, surrounded by God's presence that way, its the best way to let your spirit rest. I felt so Light. After sketching I went hiking on some trails and met a hippie named Andrew, he plays the Flute, beautifully I must add, and he told me about the waterfall and it's history and he showed me the best swimming spots. So I finally found Laura and you guessed it...we went swimming in the waterfall (more like wadding). It was freezing, but WOW! So beautiful!
So there we were, my family, spending the whole day (without a single fight, woo!) just hanging out, enjoy God's creation together. After all that craziness I decided to get away and be with Jesus for a while. I journaled a little of what I was feeling in those moments...sitting on a log in the woods, listening to Andrew play the flute in the distance, just existing...and I thought I'd share my ramblings with you:
Its peaceful. to be in nature. to be in the presence of God. where labels don't exist, titles have no place, consumerism and society are words that have no meaning and no weight. life is real. pain is felt but out-weighed by beauty and grace. life is abundant. you can feel it, hear it, breathe it, and even taste it. the way the water rushes down like it has a purpose but it's just as wild and free as my spirit. the water itself pronounces His grace. the trees shout His mercy. the rocks sing of His love. Everything from the mighty waterfall to the smallest ant displays His magnificence. here there is hope. there is faith. there is a realness in the earth. to be one with His wholeness. to be caught here, the way creation was meant to be. I feel alive. I feel like who I was created to be. I feel light. I feel Jesus. I feel His song. Its in the air. its all around. it's humming, whistling, singing the most perfect tune and I get to be the melody.
I want to encourage you all, go be. Just exist. Sit in the most remote place you can find. Whether it's a park, the woods, or even if it's your backyard (although I would definitely say go somewhere where you can submerge yourself in nature, but only if you can). Tune out the world for a while and see how He created us to be. See nature for what it is--His presence. Journal your thoughts or just speak them, let the poetry of who He is flow over you and fall in love all over again. It will cleanse your heart, your spirit, your mind and it will put to rest any fears or doubts. I know it did for me. Sometimes all we need is a moment. There are many moments just like that, recorded in Luke and Mark. Jesus went to the Mount of Olives to be with Abba or the time when He was so stressed over what was to happen, He went to Gethsemane and prayed. He went away and spent time in nature with the Father. We should do as Jesus did, in all things, and in this. He showed us the importance of going away, of being in the Fathers presence, and He did this by going into nature. I could go on but regardless, go try it! (Luke 22 & Mark 14)
Russia: I've laid it at His feet, but be praying! There is a person who is willing to pay for most of the trip (whether this summer or next). God is good!
Now go find some woods ;)